"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"Forget about world peace....Visualize using your turn signal."
"Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear."
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
"He who laughs, lasts."
"i souport publik edekasion."
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else."
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
"We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Why isn't phonetics spelled that way?"
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Sometimes I let him sleep."
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"Consciousness: That annoying time between naps."
"Cheer up! We're all in this together."